Week 2 Story: The Wise Salesman
Athletic Salesman. Web Source.
Author's Note: I took the story of the blacksmith turning into the moon because the wise man got tired of changing him over and over again, changing the wise man to a salesman and the blacksmith into yet another individual incapable of being appreciative.
The Wise Salesman
The Wise Salesman
The snobby man walked into the expansive dealership room and breathed a sigh of relief as hushed cold air met his sweat-soaked skin, courtesy of the A/C units straining in the summer heat. A well-dressed man with slick black hair walked up to greet him excitedly and exclaimed:
"Good afternoon, my friend! My name is Wiseau and boy, do we have a treat for you! You're our 100,000th customer and we would like to offer you any of the cars on this lot for free in appreciation of your patronage!"
The snobby man ignored Wiseau's extended hand and declared with a peculiarly nasal tone:
"Hmmph. Show me your best, then."
Unfazed, Wiseau escorted the snobby man out of the offices and into the Imports section of the lot. The snobby man walked up to the first car and held his hand up expectantly. Wiseau pulled the key from his suit jacket pocket and handed it to the snobby man.
"A fine choice, this is the 2014 Lamborghini Aventa-"
The snobby man slammed the car door shut and sped off for his test drive. Twenty minutes later, he pulled in crookedly and handed the keys back to Wiseau.
"Too floaty. Next."
And so the afternoon and evening were passed with the snobby man test driving and declining every nice car on the lot.
"Too sporty."
He said.
"Not sporty enough."
He said.
"Yellow."
He said.
With fifteen minutes left until closing time, Wiseau took the keys from the snobby man one final time and exclaimed in an exasperated manner:
"Well, sir, we still have one car you can try."
He escorted the snobby man to a boxy white car and gave him the keys.
"Enjoy."
The snobby man drove away hurriedly and was never seen again...
Because the car broke down and he had to walk home.
And that is the story of that random car you see on the side of the highway all the time and you're like "I wonder what the story is behind that?"
Now you know.
Well I definitely did not see that ending coming! I really enjoyed the classic theme of having a short story but with a big moral. Also, when you wrote the final paragraph it was written in a quick whited manor which was quite appreciated. It is not easy writing a short fiction story, but you seem to have nailed it with this one!
ReplyDeleteHi Daegan! That was definitely not the ending I was expected but it made me laugh and I greatly appreciated the humor at the end. The overall moral of the story is good too, I like how you combined humor with morality. You have a great skill in writing and I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story!
ReplyDeleteHi Daegan! I really enjoyed reading your story and seeing how you put your own spin on a classic story! I feel that not many people would have taken the original story down the path that you did, but I did really enjoy it! This was definitely not the ending I expected, but it did make me laugh! I really appreciated the humor at the end of this story and how you changed the ending from something that most people would assume the story would go. I did also like the morality of the story, and how the dealer was able to handle the customer with kindness and patience. I do wonder what would have happened had the dealer not handled the rude customer with the same kindness and patience that he did in this story. What would have happened had the dealer began to get rude and snippy with the customer? I do think it would have been funny had the dealer and the customer gotten into an argument. Also, what if the customer decided to steal one of the nicer cars? Would the dealer have had to call the police? Would the customer have tried to run and hide from the police? Also, what if the older boxy car had not broken down? What would the customer have done then? Overall I really enjoyed your story and I liked the writing style and the humor!
ReplyDeleteHello Daegan! I actually used the same Man in the Moon story for creating one of my stories so it was very interesting to see a different take on it. I really enjoyed reading your story but wow I really liked the ending the most. I thought it was a great twist and also thought it was funny because I always do wonder the story about the cars on the side of the road because who really leaves their car on the road and doesn't return back and retrieve it. I wonder why the man was so snobby and what would be his ideal car that he would want to drive off the lot. What if there was a background story about the man's teenage years when he had his favorite car and he was dreaming of something to give him the same feelings he had for that car. Overall I thought your story was great, keep it up!
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