Week 5 Story: Kamilah (Perfection)
Author's Note: I am basing this story off of the Tale of Two Brothers in Part B of the Ancient Egypt stories. Instead of following Anpu and Bata, this story begins with the creation of Bata's divine wife and gives context to her side of the story from then on forward (with some major alterations). Women are not named in the Tale of Two Brothers, and the only two significant women in the story are murdered by their husbands (along with the pretty woman that convinces Bata's wife to come live with Egypt's king). While the wives are portrayed as lustful and treacherous in the story, I am not approaching this story that way.
Khnum wiped the sweat from his brow and admired his work. From his potter's wheel there became a woman of intense beauty and sincerity. Her movement was ethereal and synchronous with the breeze of the winds. As she ebbed and flowed towards Bata who was wide-eyed and perched upon a strong acacia branch, Khnum uprooted a flax plant and brought it close to his heart as he enclosed it within the palm of his fist. After a soft utterance, he relaxed his hand and the breeze of the winds carried fine strings of linen over to the divine woman's body which wrapped intricately around her to form elegant robes. Bata dropped down from the tree and approached her. Peering into Bata's eyes, she announced, "I am the one they call Kamilah". Bata developed a hard scowl on his face and broke eye contact with Kamilah. He nodded towards Khnum before seizing Kamilah by her wrist and dragging her back to his home.
Her only memories of the time she spent with Bata brought a deep sense of panic to her now, a sensation akin to lungs collapsing. Many times she tried to escape, until one day while sneaking along the river banks looking for a way out of the labyrinthine jungle she found herself facing another woman who called herself Syca and pleaded with Kamilah to come back with her to Egypt. And so she did. While the river continued to flow onward in the vague direction they were travelling, the ground quickly changed from damp dirt to hot sand. Syca continued to beckon Kamilah, who was worn and exhausted by the long journey. Wearily, Kamilah took a seat in the ever-shifting sands under the shade of a dom palm tree and gestured for the Egyptian woman to join her. They sat and Syca shared stories of the wealth and beauty of Egypt and the kindness and manliness of their Pharaoh. Ra had willed the Sun to set and the presence of the Moon delivered Kamilah and Syca into a deep slumber.
Kamilah woke to distant screams. Where Syca had laid for the night there was blood and torn rags of clothing. Kamilah stood quickly and began to follow the trail of blood, which was of a dark crimson color resembling the eyes of the ram-headed god himself. Kamilah shook the fear that had crept up to inhabit her shoulders and pressed further onward.
What she found was a scene most gruesome. Bata stood above Syca's dead body, sawing her limp fingers off with a curved dagger bearing the mark of Anubis. He looked at Kamilah disdainfully and declared "Come, wife. Your place is not here". Kamilah stood her ground and whispered to the sands. Bata clenched his jaw and took a step towards her. "You dare defy me, woman? Rolling your tongue like a serpent and yet your words are lost to the hum of the desert", he scoffed. Glaring at Bata, Kamilah exclaimed "I spoke this, Bata: you shall not have me lest you come and get me". Kamilah planted her left foot in the hot sand and spun gracefully before launching herself into a sprint in the opposite direction of Bata. Scornfully, he took after her.
Through the desert they ran, until they came upon a large and violent river. Kamilah dived in without hesitation, darting past crocodiles and the debris of upriver floods. Upon reaching the opposing river bank, she dared a glance back. Bata, who had been dangerously hot in his pursuit, had his ankles caught by two gargantuan crocodiles bearing the crest of Ra between their eyes. "You must help me, woman! I command you!" Bata screamed between panicked breaths of air and saltwater. Kamilah, dropping to the ground on her knees, yelled "My name is Kamilah!". She wept for the loss of Syca and the terror she had endured as Bata was torn apart into pieces upon pieces that turned the Nile a dark red and invigorated the crocodiles for days to come.
Kamilah
Khnum wiped the sweat from his brow and admired his work. From his potter's wheel there became a woman of intense beauty and sincerity. Her movement was ethereal and synchronous with the breeze of the winds. As she ebbed and flowed towards Bata who was wide-eyed and perched upon a strong acacia branch, Khnum uprooted a flax plant and brought it close to his heart as he enclosed it within the palm of his fist. After a soft utterance, he relaxed his hand and the breeze of the winds carried fine strings of linen over to the divine woman's body which wrapped intricately around her to form elegant robes. Bata dropped down from the tree and approached her. Peering into Bata's eyes, she announced, "I am the one they call Kamilah". Bata developed a hard scowl on his face and broke eye contact with Kamilah. He nodded towards Khnum before seizing Kamilah by her wrist and dragging her back to his home.
Her only memories of the time she spent with Bata brought a deep sense of panic to her now, a sensation akin to lungs collapsing. Many times she tried to escape, until one day while sneaking along the river banks looking for a way out of the labyrinthine jungle she found herself facing another woman who called herself Syca and pleaded with Kamilah to come back with her to Egypt. And so she did. While the river continued to flow onward in the vague direction they were travelling, the ground quickly changed from damp dirt to hot sand. Syca continued to beckon Kamilah, who was worn and exhausted by the long journey. Wearily, Kamilah took a seat in the ever-shifting sands under the shade of a dom palm tree and gestured for the Egyptian woman to join her. They sat and Syca shared stories of the wealth and beauty of Egypt and the kindness and manliness of their Pharaoh. Ra had willed the Sun to set and the presence of the Moon delivered Kamilah and Syca into a deep slumber.
Kamilah woke to distant screams. Where Syca had laid for the night there was blood and torn rags of clothing. Kamilah stood quickly and began to follow the trail of blood, which was of a dark crimson color resembling the eyes of the ram-headed god himself. Kamilah shook the fear that had crept up to inhabit her shoulders and pressed further onward.
What she found was a scene most gruesome. Bata stood above Syca's dead body, sawing her limp fingers off with a curved dagger bearing the mark of Anubis. He looked at Kamilah disdainfully and declared "Come, wife. Your place is not here". Kamilah stood her ground and whispered to the sands. Bata clenched his jaw and took a step towards her. "You dare defy me, woman? Rolling your tongue like a serpent and yet your words are lost to the hum of the desert", he scoffed. Glaring at Bata, Kamilah exclaimed "I spoke this, Bata: you shall not have me lest you come and get me". Kamilah planted her left foot in the hot sand and spun gracefully before launching herself into a sprint in the opposite direction of Bata. Scornfully, he took after her.
Through the desert they ran, until they came upon a large and violent river. Kamilah dived in without hesitation, darting past crocodiles and the debris of upriver floods. Upon reaching the opposing river bank, she dared a glance back. Bata, who had been dangerously hot in his pursuit, had his ankles caught by two gargantuan crocodiles bearing the crest of Ra between their eyes. "You must help me, woman! I command you!" Bata screamed between panicked breaths of air and saltwater. Kamilah, dropping to the ground on her knees, yelled "My name is Kamilah!". She wept for the loss of Syca and the terror she had endured as Bata was torn apart into pieces upon pieces that turned the Nile a dark red and invigorated the crocodiles for days to come.
Khnum or Khnemu, ram-headed God of the Nile. Web Source.
Bibliography: Ancient Egypt Stories, The Tale of Two Brothers
Bibliography: Ancient Egypt Stories, The Tale of Two Brothers
Hi Daegan! I really enjoyed your adaptation of The Tale of Two Brothers. I thought that you used a lot of imagery which really helped the story come to life in my head. I liked how you took a different direction with the characters as opposed to the original story. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Daegan! Your Tale of Two Brothers was very enchanting, I felt that the 3rd person omniscient point of view really enhanced what we got to experience as an audience. I also enjoy the imagery quite a bit in this story, I felt as though I was there.
ReplyDelete